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The noise of a crowded hallway alone is enough to make anyone want to rip their hair out, but when you have anxiety, a crowded hallway with hall monitors yelling at you to go to class, other kids pushing past you, and people throwing things and screaming at the top of their lungs can make your head feel like it’s literally spinning and exploding at the same time. Next thing you know, you’re sitting on a dirty, cockroach infested floor, hyperventilating and crying while people give your dirty looks as they walk by and the same hall monitor insists on fussing at you to go to class.

Having struggled with depression and anxiety since age six and severe suicidal thoughts and tendencies since age 11, I know very well how hard it can be to even leave your house, especially to go to a place like school, where there’s nothing but pressure put on you. Pressure to get along with people you don’t like, pressure to dress a certain way, pressure to get the best grades humanly possible, and just when you think it’s all over, there’s pressure to put yourself in debt so you can go to school for a couple extra years. But most of the stress is from academics, not social issues. ( A poll conducted by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Harvard School of Public Health found that almost 40% of parents say that their high schooler is under a lot of stress from school, homework being the leading cause of that stress, with 24% of parents saying it’s an issue.

In their article, A Case Against Grades, Alfie Kohn explains how the grading system can make student less enthusiastic about what they’re learning, and more focused on the grade they get. “Grades tend to reduce the quality of students’ thinking. They may skim books for what they’ll ‘need to know.’ They’re less likely to wonder, say, ‘How can we be sure that’s true?’ than to ask ‘Is this going to be on the test?’” Kohn explains. This shows how school can take a toll on not just mental health, but our way of thinking. If we’re taught from the beginning of kindergarten that we’ll be judged based on a number instead of if we actually know the material, our minds become boring. By the time we get to high school, we couldn’t care less about Shakespeare or quadratic equations. It isn’t interesting. It could be, but the grading system robs us of any enthusiasm we have about what we learn in school. This lack of enthusiasm is important because coincidently, lack of motivation and enthusiasm is the same feeling you get when you can’t get out of bed because you’re so depressed. School causes literal depression symptoms by taking something that could be enjoyable, and shitting all over it.

Kids should be able to feel safe in school, which i’m sure is why there are police officers in almost every hallway at my school. This, however, makes many students feel unsafe rather than safe. An article in The Washington Post by Emma Brown ( states that “in September, a federal judge ruled that school police in Birmingham, Ala., had used unconstitutional and excessive force when they routinely pepper-sprayed children for minor disciplinary infractions — including a pregnant student whose offense was crying in a hallway.” So, not only does having police officers in schools contribute to the criminalization of teenagers, it also is causing physical harm to kids, which leads to us being oppressed in schools and feeling like prisoners.

Personally, my mental health has suffered a lot because of school. My family has always told me how important school was, and if I didn’t get good grades, my life would consist of nothing but chaos and I’d never make enough money to support myself, which put a lot of pressure on me at an age where I should’ve been able to just enjoy being a kid. But now, as a 17 year old senior in arguably one of the worst high schools in Baltimore City, I can say that nothing has gotten easier.

Right before Christmas of this year, my mental health plummeted, and my school has made it ridiculously hard to pick myself back up, which I am still in the process of doing and probably won’t be able to do until after I graduate and school isn’t something that I still think about. The reason for this being that every time I walk through those gates of hell and past those metal detectors that get used twice a year, that dreadful and gloomy feeling gets ten times worse. I always leave the building feeling like I’m at my breaking point, like if I would have been in there one extra minute, I would have puked from being so anxious. The fact that I’m graduating soon feels like a thirteen year old weight finally being lifted from my shoulders, only to be put onto the shoulders of an innocent kindergartener next year who also didn’t ask for this bullshit.

In conclusion, school makes having mental illnesses a million times more stressful than it has to be.


Break the Stigma Attached to Satanism

Posted: April 20, 2017 by gingerale666 in Uncategorized

Let me start off by saying that if you’re a Satanist who feels the need to sacrifice small children and animals to the Devil, you are either very uneducated on what Satanism actually is or you’re on bath salts. If you are on bath salts, seek help immediately. Otherwise, there is no reason that you should be spending your Friday nights in the woods, holding hands in a circle with your leather-drenched metalhead friends around a fire before ripping the head off of a lamb and using the blood to draw an inverted pentagram on your forehead. It just isn’t right, you know what I mean?

Satanism is something that is hardly ever discussed and I highly doubt that the reason is because it’s a relatively new religion in comparison to Buddhism or Christianity. People don’t want to hear about it or talk about it. It’s taboo. It’s frowned upon, unmentionable, and most people will give you really weird looks (which are often pretty hilarious) if you bring up the controversial topic.

And why do people act like this? Because Satanists are all cold-blooded murderers who hate the human race? Because we’re all violent, drug-addicted, narcissistic psychopaths? Because we eat aborted babies for breakfast and do all kinds of other sick shit in the name of Lucifer?

No. That’s all bullshit.

Sorry to rain on your holy parade of ignorance, but Satanists don’t even believe that Satan exists. It’s all just a huge story. And like any good story, there’s a moral to it. I’m not going to waste my time or yours telling you that story as I am not Google, nor am I your grandmother. Do your damn research. Read a bit of the Bible and you’ll come to realize that, ultimately, God represents abstinence while Satan represents indulgence. They’re metaphorical and all of the so-called sins, everything God doesn’t want you to do, end up leading you to some form of gratification.

This is why people convert to Satanism. They’re sick and tired of being a slave to The Man. You wanna get high? Do it. You wanna go out with your friends and party? Go for it. Someone cut you off at Walmart and stole your parking spot? Slash their tires. You wanna wear a crop top? Fuck modesty. You happen to like people of the same sex? Be gay, yo.

So, to clear the air, we Satanists aren’t the disgusting people we’re painted to be. We don’t perform sacrifices, we don’t condone nonconsensual sex, and we don’t believe in harming anyone unless they deserve it. Satanism respects and promotes all life. We do, however, strongly believe that you shouldn’t miss out on opportunities or suppress your natural instincts just because a book written over 2000 years ago tells us that there’s a dude up in the clouds who will sentence us to eternal damnation if we care about ourselves more than him. Life wasn’t meant to be lived with a giant metal ball cuffed to your ankle.

Be free and be happy. Peace and love.